Goodbye Granddad

Dear Grand Dad,

As I  write these words, I am still in unspeakable shock that you have passed away.  Even though death is the only  thing that  is certain in life,I am still having a rough time accepting the fact that you are gone.  You had bouts with various ailments Angel throughout the years, but every-time, without fail , you survived and  you came back stronger. And I thought this time,like every other time, you would once again conquer your fight with lung and throat cancer and continue to be the wonderful father,husband,deacon,friend and grandfather everyone who came in contact with you  had come to know and love.

When I visited you in the hospital almost two weeks ago you were not doing so well. It  was nearly unbearable  to hear  you in so much pain as they gave you  various breathing treatments and a fed you through a tube. But  I’m certainly  not going to remember your final days. I am going to remember all of the good times and memories we  shared. When you took me to my first professional basketball game when i was 5 years old. You angel 2coming to my kindergarten graduation and my high school graduation. The two of us laughing hysterically at some video on YouTube while eating humongous loads of ice cream and your favorite lemon cookies.  The two of us watching football and how you  loved the Kansas City Chiefs,and in contrast hated the Dallas Cowboys. I will remember how much you loved watching Country Western movies. I’ll remember how you   loved listening to smooth jazz while riding through the San Antonio streets. But more than that I will remember all of the great advice you gave me. You told me that when things  in life get tough,you have to keep pushing. That life is not always going to be easy,that everyone will be faced with tribulation, but it’s all about how you react. You told me I  could do and become anything I set my mind to because my last name is angel 3Goodwin,because Goodwin men can do all things. You taught me that  I should put my best foot forward in anything that I do.  That hard work pays off in the end no matter what. That I was special because I was your grandson, and not to let anyone tell me differently. You told me I should accept my academic scholarship to Prairie View A&M and not play football because I could change the world with my mind and not on a football field. How the potential of me suffering a life debilitating injury worried you  greatly.

I’m incredibly sad I wont be able to go to your house in San Antonio and see you sitting in your favorite chair watching  television. Or the fact that I am  not able to call  you and hear your voice on Angel 1the other end of the phone saying ” hey A. I. , how are you?”.  That I am not able to call you and tell you about my accomplishments. And you will not get to see me walk across the stage when I graduate college.  It pains me deeply knowing that you are not here. The only comfort I have is the fact that I know for certain  you are watching over me in heaven.  I love you, I miss you, and I will never forget you.

Sincerely, your grandson,

Alexander Isaac Goodwin

© Manhood, Race, and Culture 2015

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