Category Archives: Black Women

African-American Males, African-American Men, African-American Women, Black Males, Black Men, Black Women

How Black Men Have Been Made Invisible by Bitter Black Women

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To be honest with you, baseless commentary by a segment of Black women about Black men puts me into a state of disbelief because I understand that their emotional accusations spewed toward Black men do not reflect Black men in America. I do my best to sidestep such discussions. I realized long ago that such opinions are anecdotal recitations lacking evidence. During a recent podcast, I was ensnared by such a discussion.

A rambling discussion eventually brought forth assertions that Black men were solely to blame for both the disintegration of the Black family and the resulting struggles of children raised in single female-headed households. Predictably, it was a female panelist who led this unproductive discussion that reduced to Black men being blamed for not being present due to their “weakness.”

The argument reminded me of Ralph Ellison’s The Invisible Man.

 

Ellison’s The Invisible Man, an unnamed protagonist, does not lack a physical body, yet he is invisible because those around him “see only my surroundings, themselves, or figments of their imagination.” Although physically present, Ellison’s protagonist is no different from millions of Black men who are physically present, yet never really seen for who they are.

I considered this all too common attack on Black men to be identical to what the invisible man expressed. The female panelist’s decision to consolidate the identities and experiences of Black men who for whatever reason do not awake under the same roof covering their children as “weak” displays an astounding ignorance of Black lives, regardless of gender. Although I understand that generalizations permit us to discuss things, they still must be grounded in truth. The attack on Black men mentioned above does not rest on a morsel of truth.

Of course, I protested this mischaracterization of Black men by highlighting a host of reasons explaining this social epidemic, such as the emotionally driven, usually illogical, decisions and antics of women who do not understand the Black family’s importance in creating a familial legacy that bolsters the next generation’s opportunities for success. Not even my assertion that factors such as American courts’ decision to side with women when it comes to custody of children, drug addiction, or the “last hired, first fired” economic quandary that so many Black men experience seemed to penetrate the wild assertions that denigrated Black men into being weak.

In the end, the accusations of a bitter segment of Black women regarding the absence of Black fathers in the home or their inability to be selected for marriage is an extreme simplification that says little about the Black men that they have rendered invisible yet speaks volumes about their unwillingness to take inventory of themselves and the lives they lead while projecting their views on nameless Black men. It appears that some Black women are looking back at their lives and realizing that they have failed to develop a life worth living. Put simply, they have somehow managed to miss the truly important things such as family and relationships that were tightly grasped by their ancestors. It seems that in their rush to blame Black men for self-acknowledged unfulfilling lonely lives, they have forgotten to take any accountability for the lives they lead.

The classic saying “if you do what you always did, you’re going to get what you always got” applies to so many, certainly not all, Black women. It may be time for these frustrated, angry, and irrational Black females to stop blaming Black men for their poor decision-making and inability to forge a lasting relationship with men of any Race; after all, when one looks at the marriage rates, no man of any Race has or ever will choose them and you can’t blame Black men for that!!!!!!

James Thomas Jones III, Ph.D.

©Manhood, Race, and Culture, 2023

#ManhoodRaceCulture

African-American Women, Black Girls, Black Popular Culture, Black Women

Why Do So Many Black Women Like Keke Palmer Refuse To Grow Up?: Yet Another Sign of Black Cultural Dysfunction

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I am sure you’re privy to the recent brouhaha between Keke Palmer and her boyfriend, Darius Jackson. If you are one of the fortunate ones that somehow sidestepped the latest episode of “Black folk sure know how to waste some time,” let me bring you up to speed.

During a trip to Las Vegas, Keke Palmer and her girlfriends attended a performance by R&B superstar Usher. Adorned in a see-through ensemble with a bodysuit beneath, Palmer was called to the stage by Usher. Video footage shows Usher serenading Keke as she twirled around so that everyone in the building could view her hind parts while being cheered on by her entourage. When footage of the adult behavior appeared on Twitter, Mr. Jackson, Palmer’s boyfriend, responded with what most consider a controlling message of toxic manhood via Twitter that read, “It’s the outfit tho…you a mom.”

Of course, those folks that rushed to the defense of any Black woman, regardless of her antics, criticized Darius Jackson while reminding him that he was merely a boyfriend, not a husband. In response to the vociferous criticism from those who encourage the continuing devolution of Black women and Black culture, Mr. Jackson offered the following rebuttal.

We live in a generation where a man of the family doesn’t want the wife & mother to his kids to showcase booty cheeks to please others & he gets told how much of a hater he is. This is my family & my representation. I have standards & morals to what I believe. I rest my case.

I found this young man’s response compelling and reasonable for someone attempting to navigate the myriad obstacles that usually derail Black families. Yet, this essay you are holding in your hands was not caused by the much-too-public spat between Keke and Darius. Raena Boston, a social activist for Black women’s rights, was the catalyst for the words you are reading.

According to Boston, Darius Jackson is not a dutiful boyfriend seeking to build a family with Keke Palmer, the mother of his newborn child. Unbeknownst to Darius and every other sensible Black man, he is “setting the terms of a woman’s existence.” In yet another moment of incoherent psycho-feminist babble, Raena Boston trespasses across adulthood, parental obligations, familial structure, and manhood in one swoop; it is pretty impressive when viewed through such a lens. According to Babbling Boston,

There’s this idea that once a woman becomes partnered with a man, it’s almost like that’s the beginning of the death of herself. And then, once you have kids, it’s game over. You’re just in the service of your husband, in the service of your children. You, as a person, cease to exist in a lot of ways.

In many ways, Boston’s statement reveals the illogical belief that neither adulthood nor the birth of children should alter the lives of Black women. Millions of well-adjusted, sensible, grown Black folks disagree with such foolishness. Boston could not be more wrong in her rhetorical flourish; ask any responsible Black parent, regardless of their gender.

Boston is unaware of the age-old wisdom that once children arrive, your time as a free-wheeling person without an ounce of responsibility ceases. The failure to understand such simple matters that have served as guides for civilized people for centuries is stupefying.

Although this is not a gender issue, one does not need to look far to find dutiful fathers who have worked nearly to death to serve their wives and children. The same goes for women who have sacrificed all in the service of their husband and their children. These sacrifices are what adulthood looks like.

I pray that someone informs Keke of this crucial information before it is too late. I’m sure this message will not arrive from the likes of Raena Boston or the legion of grown boys and girls who are so enamored with the utter foolishness they enjoy to the detriment of their spouses, children, and the larger community.

It is time that Black parents, regardless of gender, get serious about life because a perusal of any census data proves that they are the only one’s out here playing in the high-stakes game of life. While others are building wealth and a legacy for their children, far too many “grown” Black folks remain committed to little more than what the Notorious B.I.G. called “party and bullshit.”

Sit your ass down and instill some semblance of self-esteem in your children so that they will not need to seek it from a public that will view them as pitiful people without purpose or a sense of self.

To all the parents stung by my words, it is time to stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself the following mantra until it is drilled into your foolish head. “Your time is up, you old bastard.”

James Thomas Jones III, Ph.D.

©Manhood, Race, and Culture, 2023

 

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African-American Girls, African-American Women, Black Girls, Black Popular Culture, Black Women, Hip-Hop Culture

Black America We Have A Significant Culture Problem: Essence Festival 2023

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I am old enough to remember when Essence covered the diverse nature and multiple issues of Black women living in a white man’s world. Essence went further in their coverage of Black women than merely printing beautiful pictures of them; there was no beauty of the week centerfold within the pages of Essence. I recall the presentation and discussion of substantive issues impacting Black America and Black women. When one desired exposure to the multi-faceted nature of Black women, Essence was mandatory reading.

The recent performances of Megan Thee Stallion and Janelle Monáe at Essence Festival reflect the diversity found among Black women regarding how they choose to present themselves to a world whose amused contempt and pity rise with the risqué nature of the presentation. At the same time, the alluded performances have resurfaced an essential issue among Black America regarding what a Black woman should be and should do. It can be reasonably stated that Black women have never been monolithic in any facet of life. This rich diversity of thought, dress, language, and public behavior has unfortunately forced a conversation that sadly ends in the conclusion that there is now a vocal minority population that can no longer be considered a credit to the Race regardless of the evaluation criterion.

In a long-forgotten comedy special, Chris Rock made the shocking statement that a Civil War is occurring in Black America between Black people and Niggas, and Niggas have got to go. Although I would like to cite the recent performances of Megan Thee Stallion and Janelle Monáe as the catalyst to a significant split regarding public decorum, morality, and sensibility among Black women, the truth of the matter is that those issues have been gradually worsening at an increasingly rapid pace for decades. Somewhere along the way, many, certainly not all, Black women have abandoned Black America’s cultural norms and chosen to violate our ancestors’ age-old advice to not go out and “show your color.”

One needs to look no further than the response that artist India Arie’s reaction to the performances mentioned above that, including a twenty-woman twerk fest from festival attendees at Meg’s invitation or Janelle Monáe’s idiotic decision to bare a pasty-covered nipple to the disappointment of Black men, women, and children attending the Essence Festival. Arie issued the following constructive criticism in the wake of the performances.

Is everything for KIDS? No, is everything for EVERYBODY? So when we as a culture make something like this mainstream, it shows a lack of discretion and discernment.

The response that the above comment received from a vocal minority was telling due to its wicked, horrific, and unceasing nature. Supporters of the public twerk fest and unnecessary display of nudity dismissed India Arie’s criticism as irrelevant and out of touch with the times. Undoubtedly, a significant segment of our population celebrates the devolving culture threatening to bar Black success permanently.

This championing of socially unacceptable brutish behavior among Black women and girls is proving to be a significant threat to Black America’s existence. One needs to look no further than the manosphere to encounter Black men expressing frustrations regarding the absence of marriageable Black women. Many alluded men have reacted to the declining numbers of what they deem suitable Black women by searching foreign lands for a lifetime mate.

The most frightening aspect of this matter is that the decline of marriageable Black men and women is an unprecedented threat to Black existence. However, there appears to be no way of stopping this cultural devolution that ultimately results in Black women celebrating their status as bitches, hoes, and baby mommas and Black men as uneducated, inarticulate thugs, absent a modicum of discipline. Unbeknownst to those who are reveling in copious amounts of ignorance, their Black contemporaries disapprove of their flawed value system and display a penchant for leaving them behind as they build lives worth living.

In time, the developing gap between an educated class of responsible, forward-looking Blacks and a have-not class will be too vast for the latter group who have chosen to twerk their way through life when they should have been working to cross. Fortunately for future generations of Black America, the formula for creating a life worth living remains available if they desire it. If not, they should seek out their tribe and be prepared to “throw that ass in a circle.”

We need Black men and women to do better!!!!!!

Immediately!!!!!!!

James Thomas Jones III, Ph.D.

©Manhood, Race, and Culture, 2023

 

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African-American Males, African-American Men, African-American Women, Black Girls, Black Males, Black Men, Black Women, RELATIONSHIP

Why Black Men Are Desiring Pickmesha Over Modern Women

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For most, it is a foregone conclusion that there is a civil war occurring between Black males and Black females. It would not be a stretch to state that the alluded conflict has taken on a life of its own. At its core, this conflict reminds one of Michel’le’s inventive creation of the word “Nicety”; meaning behavior that sits somewhere between nice and nasty.

I am sure that you agree that such matters should be the purview of grown Black folks. Unfortunately for Black America, the alluded discord has prematurely entered the lives of middle school-aged Black children. If I did not know any better, I could be convinced that a portion of Black youth’s socialization is intended to prepare them to be foot soldiers in a raging conflict that not a single participant understands how, where, or why it began. The only thing certain is that there are few winners in this game of Black love.

If it can be argued that the “N-word” is the nitroglycerine of the English language, it is more reasonable to consider Black love an allergen to so many of my kind. There is no greater evidence of such than the droves of disenchanted Black folks whose pessimism is displayed via their disengagement with any real hope of finding love with a Black spouse.

Things have gotten so bad on the dating scene within Black America that men and women are eager to teach succeeding generations on how to survive this gladiator sport that often requires participants to destroy potential mates and may lead to one’s mental, spiritual, or even physical death. Often it appears that the goal of Black love is not finding love, rather surviving with dignity and sanity intact.

Admittedly, it is impossible for me to comment on this matter from any perspective other than a Black man, so, I will not attempt to balance my perspective by injecting what I think my female counterparts would say; I certainly do not want to be accused of mansplaining.

I have spent several decades seeking to learn something new every day. Trust me when I tell you that lessons often come from the least likely places and at the most bizarre times. Experience has taught me to accept the blessing of increased knowledge/insight and keep it moving.

This understanding of the unexpected nature of life lessons makes my unexpected engagement with a new term a rather mundane occurrence. While listening to a podcast titled, The Crimson Cure, I learned a new term/identity. During a show that reminds one of the content of Kevin Samuels, I learned about Pickmesha. Apparently, this lady is someone that many Black men love and the majority of Black women hate.

As mentioned previously, I was unfamiliar with who or what a Pickmesha was, however, after listening to the show, it became obvious that she was an African-American woman who is feminine, cooperative, and submissive in regards to her dealings with Black men. Apparently, Pickmesha is a throwback female of yesteryear who has been bred and raised by a long line of feminine, cooperative, and submissive ladies to understand that her foremost priority is serving as a “help meet” for her man. The same role that her mother played for her father and her grandmothers played for her maternal and paternal grandfathers. It appears that Pickmesha knows no other way to be.

To the chagrin of non-Pickmeshas, there is no doubt whatsoever that respectable Black men across the socioeconomic spectrum are selecting Pickmeshas for marriage over them. The reasons undergirding Black men pursuing Pickmeshas for holy matrimony are fairly simple, they like peace and seek lives devoid of the unnecessary conflict and foolishness that so many non-Pickmeshas introduce to every relationship they enter.

One of the most interesting elements of the robust conflict that occurred regarding this matter was the lack of a true understanding of what a Black woman ought to be and ought to do. As a Black man who has talked to many Black women regarding the above matters, I am convinced that there is no single definition that encompasses Black womanhood. Ironically, there appears to be a greater consensus regarding manhood than womanhood within Black America. There is a near consensual agreement within our community that Black men are to be “protectors and providers.” The failure to accomplish these feats makes one a marginal man in the eyes of Black America. However, one has to wonder what are the consensual qualities that Black women must possess to be a woman.

One thing is for sure. If stable, sane, and gainfully employed Black men have any say in the definition of what type of Black woman they desire, Pickmesha will be the woman for them.

James Thomas Jones III, Ph.D.

©Manhood, Race, and Culture, 2021

 

African-American Males, African-American Men, African-American Women, Black Males, Black Men, Black Women, MRCi

Defining What it Means to be a Righteous Black Man?: Does the Absence of such Men Explain the Black Woman’s Refusal to Follow Him

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You are cordially invited to participate in this week’s Manhood, Race, and Culture Interactive Zoom discussion about What does a Righteous Black Man looks like. Are they plentiful within Black America? Is the absence of righteous Black men the reason why Black families are in such shambles?

MRCi discussions occur every Thursday @ 7:30 (EST) – 6:30 (CST). Click on the link below to join our intellectual community.

Join us as we discuss pressing matters facing and impacting Black Men and Black America.

Just in case you can not get the link to work, use the information to join the Zoom session.

Meeting ID: 353 334 8869
Passcode: 1YF4BG