Tag Archives: Relationships

Who is Pickmesha and Why are so Many Black Women Seeking to Marry Her?

We are inviting you to this week’s Manhood, Race, and Culture Interactive Zoom discussion over the rising argument surrounding Pickmesha and why she is so attractive to Black men.

MRCi discussions occur every Thursday @ 7:30 (EST) – 6:30 (CST). Click on the link below to join our intellectual community.

Join us as we discuss pressing matters facing and impacting Black Men and Black America.

Just in case you can not get the link to work, use the information to join the Zoom session.

Meeting ID: 353 334 8869
Passcode: 1YF4BG

Is the High-Earning Millennial Black Male Invisible to their Female Counterparts?

A convincing argument could be made that Ralph Ellison’s The Invisible Man is the greatest novel ever written.

I must tell you that Ellison’s unnamed protagonist is “invisible” throughout the entire book for those who have never read this timeless text. Now I do not want you to get the impression that he is see-through as lacking a body; his invisibility results from those around him not being able to see. Everyone he encounters “sees only my surroundings, themselves, or figments of their imagination.”

Ellison’s Invisible Man is no different from millions of Black male millennials living without anyone, especially their Black female counterparts, ever seeing them.

While those on the Right engage in public political propaganda about Critical Race Theory, millennial Black men are facing an unexpected opponent. Young Black men between the ages of 25 – 40 have been rendered invisible. Nearly eighty years after Ellison’s brilliant construct, millennial Black men fit perfectly into it.

If nothing else, the familiar cries of Black women regarding the absence of suitable Black suitors are convincing, particularly to those who have never reviewed relevant data. The “Amen corner” that so eagerly joins into any discussion that culminates with the denigration of Black men has never needed any data to condemn their targets. The evidence base is purely anecdotal evidence provided by a segment of bitter mothers, aunts, sisters, cousins, and friends that serves no purpose other than convincing Black millennial women that there are no suitable marriage-minded Black males. This recycled allegation has reached urban legend status.

The primary problem with the unceasing denigration of millennial Black men is that there is not a shred of evidence supporting the allegations. When one focuses on the plight of educated Black women categorized as millennials, by far the loudest town criers regarding this matter, an interesting portrait arises. If considered seriously, the existing data would mute what has become standard verse for far too many, certainly not all, educated Black women making over $50,000. According to PUMS (2019), when one focuses on higher-income Black millennials, many Black men above the $50,000 income level as their female counterparts. It appears that millennial Black women have inherited a familiar dodge that they cannot find someone who is “equally-yoked” (financially) to build a life with from previous generations of embittered Black women.

When faced with such facts, one can only wonder what excuse millennial Black women who have dominated public conversations will use to explain their difficulty finding an equally-yoked, gainfully employed Black male.

The above information should spotlight what appears to be hopelessly single millennial Black women making over $50,000. If provided the opportunity, I would ask these Black women the following questions.

  • Do you think that your single status is due to Black men deciding that you are not marriage material?
  • Where did you get the idea that there were no equally-yoked marriageable Black men?
  • Have you ever considered that the pessimism that so many millennial women wear as a badge of honor actually an allergen to the gainfully employed equally-yoked Black men that you claim to desire?

Although painful to admit, it appears that yet another generation of Black women has been socialized to be doubting Thomas’ regarding Black suitors. Unfortunately, so many of these women have allowed the experiences of their disenchanted predecessors to be pressed atop their own.

Unfortunately for millennial Black men, it appears that Ralph Ellison’s construct shockingly applies to them. Although frightening to consider, one has to wonder if there is anything that Black men could or should do to break through the glacier-like ice that encases the hearts of so many of their female counterparts?

All of this makes one wonder if the fact that only 25% of Black women will ever marry leads them to abandon the present course that appears to be inspired by the experiences of a group of disenchanted embittered Black women instead of a numerically superior group of Black women who managed to remain married to Black men for decades.

James Thomas Jones III, Ph.D.

©Manhood, Race, and Culture, 2021

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A Dystopian World of Love: How Do We Lay The Groundwork to Make Love Possible in Black America?

Please join Manhood, Race, and Culture INTERACTIVE (MRCi) for an engaging discussion by educator and relationship expert Dr. Kaarin Perkins on December 3rd @ 7:30 EST //// 6:30 CST.

According to Dr. Perkins, “We have arrived at a Dystopian moment in Black America. The in-fighting and blaming of each other needs to stop and we must shift our focus toward rebuilding. It matters not who has caused today’s problems between Black men and Black women. We need to focus on how do we build each other up and generate a community that encourages Love for its members.

Click on the following link to gain access to Tonight’s presentation on how do Black people create a context where relationships and love are the new normal.

Is Black Love possible? Can Black men love Black women? Can we bypass the blame game and rebuild our community and ourselves.

To gain access to tonight’s presentation click here. Once again, the program begins tonight December 3rd @ 7:30 EST //// 6:30 CST and lasts for 90 minutes — We are committed to starting the program on time and ending on time.